Sunday, December 3, 2017

Next?

Appraisals are always interesting- but I have mostly actually enjoyed them. Perhaps its been more about who I have done them with. Whatever be the reason, it has always given a reason to reflect, a time to think, a moment to take stock. This year, my appraiser had a fantastic question- at which point - somehow it felt that time stopped momentarily. It was a simple one…"What next?" You would have thought the answer would be simple…surely it was planned? Surely, I had an idea mapped out in my head?

You know the honest answer? I absolutely have no idea. I have rarely had a grand plan- not because I didn't want to but because things have simply happened for me along the way. When my parents sent me to this country, they had one and one ambition for me- something they tried but due to a multitude of reasons didn't quite happen. Times were different, the prism through which folks were judged were different- and I came with a burning ambition to become a Consultant in the NHS. Nothing else mattered- it was a laser like focus. Somehow it was a way of saying thank you to my parents- who sacrificed so much to get me across to a different country. And it happened finally in August 2008. I cant tell you what it meant for my parents- it perhaps chokes me slightly when I think of it- but the pinnacle was achieved.
Post that? Everything has been a bonus. Being Clinical Director of Portsmouth Diabetes team, Super six model, type 1 service…its been fun. And thats what a role tho me is all about- having fun.

Fast forward a few years- and thats been exactly the philosophy - fun. Take it as it goes along, try and focus on a few problems that folks with diabetes go through- and give it a whirl of the dice. Is it a step to something else? Not really. Its been being fortunate enough to be in a position to help others- try a few things, win some battles, concede others- but never failing to have fun. So far, life has been kind to me- met some amazing people along the way, so...whats next? Whatever is around the corner I suppose. I do keep hearing how tough life is as a Consultant- and it can be- no question. I also personally believe it is an opportunity very few people are fortunate enough to have- a spectacular once in a life time opportunity to make a difference to many others. Many dream to get in the position I find myself- and i am certainly going to give it a wholesome try while I am at it. Do I fail? Many many times- made mistakes, made errors of judgement…but thats about being a human being too, I suppose. As fallible as anyone, as prone to errors as anyone else.

Being in the position where I am- just into the 10th year of my Consultant life, its unbelievable where I have got to- mostly by luck, a lot due to being in the right place at right time- and a major part due to colleagues who have always been there…encouraging, supporting, helping. What next? There is no next per se…as ever, the chapter is blank…the book is written as I go along. Its a fascinating journey- they key is to enjoy it as one goes along, learn as best as one can from mistakes- and be humble enough to accept when those who you do this work for, folks living with diabetes, turn around and say "you may have got this wrong". The rest? A smorgasbord of genuine well-wishers, jealousy, politics, personalities….if I am brutally honest.

So I really don't know what's next in my career. Frankly, thats because I never set out to be anything but a Consultant in the NHS. Post that? Its a ride which I am enjoying…some doors will open, some will close…but its pretty much why I try different things like comic books, TED style talks…its just…different..its just…fun. Along the way? If one ends up helping a few folks beyond the day job? Its can't be that bad a thing.

So what's next? I don't know but you are welcome to join me in the ride. I promise you it will always be fun x




2 comments: